Divorce News in Forbes

Forbes just ran an interesting article titled “How to Stay Strong And Get What You Deserve In a Divorce”. It’s interesting they use the words “get what you deserve” in the title of the article. This actually could set everything off in a bad direction. Divorce isn’t always about getting what one deserves. In fact the focus should be on getting what you want. And that’s an issue we see a lot with clients going through divorces. They focus on a sense of fairness or what they believe is right. Instead we guide our clients to really focus on what matters to them.

When it comes to child custody for example we ask clients how often they want to see and be with their kids. When the response is “my ex shouldn’t get to see the kids at all” it tells us they may need to shift the focus.

Before you even consider the negotiations options you should sit down and think about what’s up for discussion during the divorce. Usually it’s things such as money, property, spousal support, child custody, child visitation. Now take a step back and consider what you want to achieve with each of these. But be realistic! Judges aren’t going to hear you say “I want everything, and them to have nothing” and think that’s a reasonable approach.

Regardless of why you are getting divorced, there still needs to be a sense of fairness. So be realistic in terms of what you want, and what the other side would be willing to agree to.
Yes this can all be VERY difficult since there are so many emotions, and perhaps hard feelings involved. This is where the article gets something right. Lower down they advise you to “Listen to your advisors.” This is where your attorney can really help. Your lawyer should be un-emotional about your divorce. They should be able to see what your goals are, and provide guidance on how to get there. However they should also bring years of experience and help you be realistic about what’s truly possible.

Divorce is a very long and difficult process. That again is an area where the article does a good job. It says divorce is a marathon which can be true in a lot of cases. Most people still believe divorces happen quickly. And they can. However whenever there are things to fight over it can easily stretch the divorce process into years. Starting off on the right path can make a huge difference. Make sure you work with an attorney who has the right mind-set about helping you achieve what you want, and focusing on what’s important to you.

If you are going through a divorce Contact us to discuss your goals and how to achieve them. And please be wary of reading too much into articles or editorials about divorce. Everyone has an opinion, though what really matters is what you want, and figuring out how you are going to get there.